Keeping Up With The Munsters
by Naktarra
Summary: Oh look, Fanfiction gets this wonderful fanfiction before DA. Don't tell anyone I'm doing that crazy test posting those crazy kids today do. This is my Naktarra Halloween special. Everyone wants to the innocence of The Munsters and the not-so-innocent Addams family cross, so here it is folks! The Munster Family Halloween! Maybe Lurch was right when he groaned at the Munster name?
1. Part One

There was a deafening fog horn sound which shook the house on it's already rickety base. Yet low and behold that it didn't bother miss Morticia Addams one bit.

"Mail's in." She smiled, reaching forward as a very vibrantly decorated box opened and a single hand emerged, holding out a few envelopes.

"Oh why thank you, Thing. You're so thoughtful." There box creaked again as Thing - the hand - grabbed the little brown knob on the top and closed himself in.

"Now let's see." She flipped through the letters smiling, "bills, wonderful!"

"Oh Gomez!" She called out to her darling husband, who entered the room, pushing a lit cigar into his pocket, only to grab a new one from another of his many pockets and lit a match.

"Yes Querida?"

"I have good news Gomez." She walked to him, rather slowly given on how tight her dress was around her ankles. It was a wonder on how she never fell over.

She simply handed him the envelopes, which seemed to bring the shining light to his eyes.

"Ah, perfect, bills!" He tore open one of the envelopes, "Ah, the bill for my skydiving lessons. Fifteen hundred dollars." He paused, considering the price, "I'll let them go on this one, but I want to pay no less than two grand next time."

"Darling, I thought you already knew how to skydive." Morticia crossed her arms, looking with eyebrows raised at her husband when he continued to look through the rest of the claimed bills.

"Yes, I do. But I don't quite think they know how. They keep pestering me about some safety harness nonsense. Now why in the word would I need that?"

"Oh you're so right dear." Morticia gave the faintest of smiles to her husband.

"Hold on Tish. This isn't a bill. It's for Lurch."

"It is?" She tiptoed over to him and peered at the letters, "Oh I'm sorry, I'll get him."

"Morticia you can't keep doing this to me. It depresses me to know I don't have a full hand of bills every morning."

She moved towards a long noose hanging from the ceiling and gave it a little tug.

There was a ear shattering bang like a gong, but like the sound the mail made when it came in, it didn't bother Morticia of Gomez one bit. Not even the slightest of flinches for one of the most unnecessarily loud "instruments" the world has to offer.

"You rang?" That familiar and low but slow and droning voice from behind Morticia.

"Yes Lurch!" Gomez walked up to his butler, handing him the letter, "For you."

Morticia and Gomez hung around Lurch, as the man slowly opened the letter.

He let out a long groan which sounded of annoyance to any average. Although that was a groan of cheerfulness in translation to Gomez and Morticia.

He shook his head and walked off, the letter in a tight grip.

"Gomez, what was that about?" Morticia, with eyebrows raises, took a few steps to turn around with her arms out

"I don't know," Gomez looked around, holding out his cigar, "I've never seen a man so excited."

"Darling, I wish Lurch would write back to the dear family." Morticia was standing on a stool, leaning forward towards a tree, which looks as those it was used for Christmas. However this tree wasn't as lush or full as a normal pine tree. Every branch was bare, except for the exception of antique bulbs, one containing a suspicious sandy substance which very ironically happened to be Cousin Burnt's ashes.

"It's his choice. They sound like nice people though." Gomez stood behind his wife, admiring her wonderful work. One side of the tree, completely covered in ornaments, as the other side stay bare.

"It would be nice to have someone new over for Halloween. Plus, a friend of Lurch is a friend of the family. I wonder who these people are."

She cocked her head to the side, to see her husband watching her with the most loving eyes, "Well, if anything, what they are. You can't be too sure these days."

She fiddled her black hair out of the way before she added the very last ornament on the tree, making one branch dip a little, looking as though it was on the verge of snapping with the weight of a shrunken stuffed vulture on it. Just being shrunken did not mean it lost weight at the same time of becoming smaller.

"Either way dear, c'est la vie."

"Tish! That's french!" He grabbed his dear 'Tish' around the waist and picked her up off the stool.

"Gomez, Please!"

He put her down on the ground, and grabbed her hand, beginning to kiss it and move up her arm. The poor woman was off balance from her too-tight dress again and swayed, "Bubele, please."

"Bubele," Gomez echoed, "That name makes my blood boil." He had made his way up to his wife's neck.

"Gomez. Gomez please. Lurch's letter now, Bubele later." She ran her hand over his chin, and straightened herself up.

She paused in thought for a moment, then shifted her way towards one of the many nooses hanging from the ceiling.

"I think we should talk to Lurch about this." She pulled on the dangling noose, the ear splittingly loud gong, which was followed by the low voice saying, "You rang?"

"Yes Lurch, we'd like you to ask that nice family who wrote to you to come here."

Lurch let out a long groan, "No."

"No? Lurch, what do you mean no? I think it would be fun. As I said, a friend of Lurch is a friend to us." Gomez pocketed his cigar, steam bellowing out of said pocket.

"Gomez, I said that." Morticia crossed her arms with an eyebrow raised.

"Ah yes, of course. Now Lurch, write back to this family and invite them over for a Halloween celebration. That's an order." He drew another cigar from his shoe and put it into his mouth as it automatically lit itself.

Lurch sighed and let out his long moan of disapproval, "Yes Mr. Addams." He turned around and walked off back to his kitchen.

Morticia put one long nail to her chin, "Gomez, do you think we did the right thing?"

"Of course, Cara Mia. We couldn't have done anything better."


	2. Part Two

"Grandpa, do you think we're doing the right thing?" Lily peered over her father's shoulder, subconsciously working on her bat cross-stitch without a glance.

"Of _course_, we spend every Halloween here, I don't suppose why we can't have a change of location. Back in the old country, we never had a single holiday in the same place."

Lily smiled, "Oh I'm supposed you're right Grandpa. All those wild nights in Transylvania, the moon shining and the wolves howling at the moon." She shivered, "It gives me vulture bumps just thinking about it. Those were wonderful nights." She smiled, looking off into the distance before snapping back to reality.

She put her stitching down, getting up and straightening her long dress, "by the way Grandpa, who are you writing to?"

"Some guy I met a while back in the old country. His name is Lurch. Oh is it Luke? Anyways, I believe I met him when they were working on Herman."

Lily seemed to light up, intrigued by this news, "Do you mean, he and Herman might be acquainted?"

"No, no, of course not." Grandpa waved a leather covered hand, "Have you ever tried to talk to a man in six jars? Plus, he was only passing by. Lonely fellow."

"Well, you have a point there Grandpa. And I suppose anyone a friend of yours is a friend to the family." She sniffed the air, "Oh dear, my lizard casserole is burning." She turned around, holding onto her dress as she hurried out of the living room.

"Lily, I don't like it."

"Oh come on Herman, it will be fun." Lily said, pulling a brush through her long, white streaked hair.

"I don't like the idea of Grandpa dragging us off to a home, of-of a bunch of strangers."

"I'm sure it will be fine Herman. Grandpa hasn't let me down before. I mean, that's how I met you of course. He convinced me to go to the lab with him back in Romania." She smiled as she put down her brush and pulled herself up onto the bed, "Oh Herman, do you remember the day we met?" She smiled and gave a little giggle to her husband, who was laying with a full dress gown in a nightgown in bed.

He smiled, "Lily, you have the same beautiful hollow complexion since the day I met you." He let out his loud but hollow chuckle of a laugh. "And I didn't even have eyes in then." He pointed to his one brown and his one chartreuse eyes.

Lily smiled as she picked up her white lily hanging from the edge of the bed's backboard. "Oh Herman, you make me feel like the luckiest ghoul in the world." She giggled, flustered by his compliments.

"So will you go Herman? If that nice man Grandpa sent a letter to responds?"

Herman looked into his wife's face. That was a face he couldn't say no to. Most of the time. If it came to his brother Charlie, he became the king of saying 'no'.

He stuttered for words, but there was really nothing to argue with. If going through with Grandpa's halloween plans meant the family could meet someone as great as himself, there was nothing else that he could do but go.

Although, what if Lily thought this Lurch was better than him?

"No. Lily, I won't have it."

"But Herman, why?" She batted her eyelashes, trying to convince him with her cute innocence.

"You've met me with Grandpa's shenanigans, and I don't want the family going out for Halloween and to find out you find someone better than me." He shifted his jaw in an uncomfortable and worried way, pursing his lips at a diagonal as he looked at Lily with a rather worried expression.

She smiled, "Oh, Herman. I would never leave you for something so silly. You know, I think that personality matters more than looks. So even if this man has made it into movies," she held her hands together, looking wistfully to her husband, "I will always be your bride." She smiled as she leaned forward and kissed Herman's cheek.

"Goodnight Pussycat." She lay back, crossing her arms, now resembling a corpse in a coffin, rather than a living and breathing vampiress.

"Goodnight Lily dear." Herman closed his eyes and the snoring commenced.


End file.
